According to several expat studies, foreign residents who live in Norway are very satisfied with most aspects of life, particularly with their new work-life balance and family life. But what they are missing is friendliness of the local people.

Expats in Norway describe their welcome as ‘unfriendly’ and the local population as distant, and they say they struggle with finding friends. Stories of various travel bloggers speak to the fact that Norwegians do come across as rather unwelcoming.

The most common complaints are that Norwegians don’t smile or greet people in the street, that we are too closed, quiet and shy, that we lack interest in making friends… Basically, we are very difficult to approach, or as InterNations so lovingly puts it - as cold as the weather.

But is there something inherently ‘impolite’ about Norwegians, or do we just appear that way to foreigners?

The researcher Kristin Rygg from the Department of Professional and Intercultural Communication at the Norwegian School of Economics says it’s the latter. She believes that there is no such thing as a universal concept of politeness.

What is considered as polite or friendly behaviour is subjective and depends a lot on our unconscious values. Values are rooted in culture, so when cultures clash, the ground is fertile for misunderstandings.

Tough on the outside, koselig on the inside

The online consensus seems to be that although Norwegians are hard to approach, but once you get to know us, when you break the ‘icy exterior’, so to speak, we are actually very warm and friendly, and the true friendships that we build last for a lifetime. The steps leading to it may take a little longer, but they are worth a try.

After all, we know the secret to the ‘koselig life’. The concept of koselig is hard to translate because it can refer to so many things: a place, a conversation, a person, an item of clothing. Koselig describes a feeling, a sense of warmth, cosiness, intimacy and comfort. Quite the opposite of the cold first impression we give off.

So, how to break the ice and make Norwegian friends?

First, knowing the cultural context helps a lot!

Norway is a low-context culture, which means we prefer explicit, direct, goal-oriented communication. We aren’t big fans of exchanging pleasantries or small talk. Why waste words on saying that the weather is nice, if it’s obvious? Better to discuss something concrete and important.

Speaking about the weather, cultures from colder climates tend to have ‘colder’ communication styles. We don’t often express our feelings loudly, and we prefer rational discussions over emotional reactions.

Because Norway is an egalitarian society, social status or formal titles are not that important to us. Being boastful or too extravagant won’t take you very far in Norway. We respond better to modesty, generosity, and people who keep their word.

Just... join them!

In Norway, much of the socialising revolves around different activities. There are so many clubs and special interest groups in Norway that anyone can find something interesting. Joining a sports group, a parent-teacher organisation, taking up a cross-country skiing course or join the Norwegian Trekking Association with more than 300 000 members – these are great ways to meet new people and keep them in contact on a regular basis.

Photo: Ivar August Bull, Den Norske Turistforening

Learn to speak Norwegian

Although most Norwegians speak good English, learning to speak Norwegian will definitely help you meet and build relationships with the local folks. Luckily, Norwegian is a relatively easy language to pick up on, especially if you come from a Germanic background. Learning the basic phrases as soon as possible will make it much easier to start conversations and make you more approachable.

Enrolling in a Norwegian language course has an added bonus – meeting other expats and expanding your social circle with people who are likely struggling with similar issues like you.

Don’t give up

Understanding cultural characteristics and habits will help you relate to the ‘Norwegian way of life’ faster, but keep in mind that making friends in Norway may take longer than what you are used to. Patience is a virtue.

Sometimes people will seem unfriendly just because they were trying to be polite. That being said – some people are rude, and some are nice –  just like everywhere else in the world.